Through Drunken Eyes
by maixwolfblossom
Summary: Syaoran kept an empty promise, in return he recieved a broken heart. Will his memories comfort his problem or will it destroy all that he was? Time will only tell. (promise)S
1. A Faint Memory

Hey! This is my new short ficcy! It's probably going to be around 5-12 chapters long. Be nice cuz this is a very sad…iono should I make it dramatic? Well yeah, as it progresses…aw let's just see!

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**Through Drunken Eyes**

**by: maixwolfblossom**

--**Chappie One—**

**--A Faint Memory**—

**Disclaimer: **Dun own CCS, never did, never will!

**Summary**: Tragic/Romance Syaoran tells his side of a tragic tale. It lost him his love and gave him misery. He lived his life through drunken eyes.

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**Syaoran's POV**

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Hi, my name is Li Syaoran.

I am 21 years old and single; I am the Li Clan heir and leader…

But I lead a very melancholy life; I lost the love of my life, getting to this position that I have today.

She was the one who helped me through it all; the love of my life; the one that left me and it's my entire fault…

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**Sometime Six Years Ago**

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A chocolate brown haired, sixteen-year-old Syaoran, gazed at a fifteen year old Sakura lovingly from a far. Although there was one problem with this picture, he hadn't told her what he really felt for her.

Now, there is a reason to all this and we're about to explain why this handsome young man could _not _get the girl of his dreams. For every time he came close to the biggest confession of his life, he would fail because someone or something would always interrupt them.

Sakura felt someone's piercing stare burning through her. She turned around, just in time to see Syaoran walk away from the cherry blossom tree.

'Hoe?…What's up with Syaoran lately. Hmmmm…He's been a bit distant…'

She turned her attention to Tomoyo, who kept talking about her date with Eriol non-stop, but could not concentrate…she was thinking about a certain someone.

"Sakura?" Tomoyo waved a hand in front of Sakura's spaced out face. When she received no response, an idea popped into her head, "Sakura! There's a ghost behind you!"

Tomoyo pretended to run and look frightened, but when she reached the quad she looked back. She didn't hear a scream or anything. What she saw surprised her; giggling she took out her camcorder.

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**Sakura's POV

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**

I snapped out of my reverie. Did Tomoyo just say ghost? I wanted to scream and run. I WANTED TO FIND TOMOYO… I WANTED TO DO ANYTHING BUT LOOK BEHIND MY BACK!

Shivering, I turned around to meet my doom, but instead of a ghost, I met fierce, grim amber eyes.

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**Syaoran's POV**

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I saw Sakura alone and figured Tomoyo went to find Eriol, and the idea suddenly popped into my head. This time for sure I will confess my feelings to Sakura.

I walked up to her with my conscience currently in battle:

_Come on Syaoran…you know you want to. You've been waiting to tell her for nearly 2 years._

'Shut up! I know I know. But what if she won't accept me?'

_Hmm? So Xiao Lang the Almighty is chicken, ne?_

HEY! Who said I was CHICKEN? What do you think I should do?

_Baka! Use your charm, your seducing skills, and especially that sexy, devilish smirk!_

Right, gotcha!

So it was decided; I, Li Xiao Lang, would tell my feelings to a girl! A GIRL! I've done it before, but that was out of foolish, childhood infatuations. MY GOODNESS, IT WAS MEILING!

But this was different; I could feel it in my heart. Every time I'm near Sakura, I can feel my heart quiver, please excuse the clichés, but whenever I'm around her I find myself waiting for her fluttery laughter.

When I came up to her she tensed and she mumbled something that oddly sounded like, 'G-ghost? Don't look back Don't look back Don't look back Don't look back'

She finally regained her composure and turned around slowly. For the first time today I met her glowing, innocent emerald eyes.

**

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**

Normal POV

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Sakura and Syaoran were staring at each other. Both were unaware that a pair of mischievous, violet eyes was recording their every single movement.

Sakura was caught up in Syaoran's eyes, but broke the silence; her eyes widening.

"Hey! Oh My Gosh! It's Only YOU!"

Syaoran's eyes widened as Sakura jumped onto him while she chanted.

(A/N: you know the nah nah nah nah nah nahhhhhh chant)

"Tomoyo was lying. You're not a ghost You're not a ghost You're not a ghost You're not a ghost!"

_So that's why she tensed up… _Syaoran smirked.

She calmed down looking extremely happy, "Ey, Syao-kun, wanna come with me Tomoyo and Eriol? We're--"

"OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ, BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSEEEE--"

A group of girls came skipping towards the two, forcing to split them apart for those mere moments.

Sakura sweat dropped, "Not the thing I wanted to say"

Syaoran gave a nervous laugh.

It was now or never. "Sakura I wanted to tell you something for a looonnng time…" His eyes dropped to the ground, suddenly the floor looked a lot interesting.

Sakura looked up very naively, "What is it, Syaoran-kun?

Syaoran opened his mouth, and blushed furiously

"Hoe?" Sakura gave a blank look at Syaoran, "You look terribly feverish, Syaoran-kun. Are you alright?"

"Um…Iono"

A few moments of silence and an awkward feeling was arising. "Syao-kun, what did you want to say to me, anyways?"

Syaoran reddened even more, if that was even more possible.

"Well…You see…I**cough**like**cough**you**cough cough**"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, "What? I didn't hear you."

His now sunburn looking face looked up, embarrassed, "Um…I said, 'I like you'."

He suddenly looked down to the ground again, hiding his _very_ flustered face.

Sakura densely smiled, "I really like you, too"

Syaoran disbelievingly looked up, "You do?"

"Of course, I like you…I like Eriol, Tomoyo, Meiling…"

Syaoran fell anime style and looked saddened, which Sakura caught almost immediately.

Tomoyo silently giggled.

"…You look so disappointed? Did I say something wrong?"

Syaoran gathered all his bravery and looked up into her enchanting eyes, "Sakura, I didn't mean as friends, 'I like you'. I meant…I like you, like you. _More_ than just a friend…"

Something penetrated into Sakura's dense mind and clicked. She understood what he was saying. Sakura put a hand under her chin looking down, felt her cheeks burn up and whispered, "hoe."

Hearing no answer, Syaoran turned his back on her feeling ashamed, "I understand, if you don't feel the same…" and started to walk away.

As he turned his back on her, Sakura's mind seemed to scream at her. 'Hey you! BAKA (Idiot)! There's a boy who you've had the hots for since the fifth grade and he just confessed his feelings to you! Aren't you listening to me! GO AND GET YOUR HUNNY BEFORE HE'S GONE!'

She choked out, "SYAORAN, DON'T LEAVE"

Sakura's heart pounded against her chest when he stopped and slowly turned around looking sullen. The soft warm breeze swept his unruly bangs away from his handsome face and those eyes…how she loved the way his eyes looked, soft and enthralling. She bit her lip nervously, "I—I Like…you, too. I-I mean m-more than j-just a-a friend."

Syaoran's expression lightened but you could never tell from his emotionless face, "Y-you d-do?"

"Y-yeah" Sakura saw his cold exterior remain and thought he was about to leave again. She looked down shyly at her toes and when she lifted her head up, he was a foot apart from her. Sakura looked at his serene amber eyes as his they bored into hers.

Her mouth went dry, "So…where do we go from here?" Syaoran and Sakura slowly came closer to each other, still captured in each other's eyes. He placed his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as she unsteadily wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body onto his; her body temperature increasing.

"Honestly…I didn't plan beyond past the words, 'I like you.' " He chuckled good-naturedly.

Sakura's lips went dry and she moistened her lips, her eyes dropped from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes.

"What--"

Syaoran leaned forward, cutting the distance closer and closer. Sakura froze when she realized his face was close _VERY_ close. Her heart raced as he leaned nearer to her. She closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss to come. He closed his eyes and when their lips met, heaven opened their gates.

_There goes my first kiss… _

Her lips were sweet and lush, just like the way Syaoran anticipated. He nibbled her bottom lip affectionately and felt a passionate awareness enter his body.

A soft moan escaped from her mouth as she reached up and entangled her fingers in his messy, unruly hair and he enjoyed the feeling of her touch. His lips were so tender and fierce, she couldn't help but open her mouth a little, letting him in a bit more making her pulse flutter. His touch on her back was so gentle…He couldn't get enough of her… His heart was dancing with joy.

Then they heard an, "Ahem"

Sakura broke apart and felt the heat leave her. Her heavy-lidded eyes opened slowly to see Syaoran scowling at someone beside them.

"I see we came at a bad time, my dear cousin?" a certain navy-blue eyed teenager said with a smirk.

"Kawaii! (Cute)" Tomoyo was starry-eyed. Sakura looked at them sheepishly then turned her head away. Syaoran realized he was still holding her and she was still holding him. Blushing, they both let go of each other and they either looked up into the sky or down to the ground.

Syaoran and Sakura blurted out together.

"Umm, we were—um—just…hugging each other…and yeah our faces were a bit close **mumble** a little too close **mumble**…but yeah nothing wrong about a little friendly hug, right?"

Both Eriol and Tomoyo grinned evilly looking down at Tomoyo's camera.

Tomoyo raised an eyebrow dreamily smiling, "Hmm…yeah it does look a little close, doesn't it, Eri, dear?"

"Yeah _really close_…whoa! Syaoran, where'd ya learn that one**?--eyes widen-** Whoa! Dude, slow dowwwwn! Don't wanna get it on right in the middle of campus, now, do ya?"

Tomoyo gasped looking jealous, "I want something like this, Eriol."

Eriol chuckled, "Now Now Tomoyo, you get all the love you ne--" he stopped mid-sentence seeing something interesting, "Cool Syaoran, you used _the trick_ I told you about."

Hearing Eriol's remark, Sakura and Syaoran snapped their attention to Eriol and Tomoyo watching something on her (Tomoyo's) camera.

They quickly ran behind them to see what it was.

What they saw made them pale and blush a violent purple.

Then they gaped.

It was their –**ahem-** 'hug'.

But they had to admit. It looked good…_real_ good.

Sakura managed to gasp out, "Tomoyo-chan! You were spying on us!"

"Yes, my dear Sakura-chan, I admit…" Tomoyo put an arm across her forehead dramatically, "I did spy on you and you know what?" Tomoyo dropped her arms away from her forehead, "I know you liked that kiss and now you and your dense head can see _you two are the perfect pair._"

Syaoran and Eriol looked at Sakura with fear mingled with amusement as they watched her argue with Tomoyo. Sakura growled in frustration and then smiled cheerfully,

"Tomoyo-chan, I finally see the light. I think you're right!"

Tomoyo smile widened, "really?"

"Yes, really."

Syaoran knew immediately that something wasn't right. Tomoyo hugged Sakura and Sakura put her arms around Tomoyo and seemed as if she was trying to hug Tomoyo. Instead, she put her hands on Tomoyo's neck and started strangling her, "This is what you get for spying on me!"

Tomoyo smile did not fade at all, "_You know you liked it…_"

Then Sakura hugged her shocking everyone, "and this is what you get for being a good friend, trying to make me not lonely."

Sakura went into a fit of giggles, while Syaoran smiled amusingly.

Eriol just gave a mysterious smile.

"What! I thought it was it was a perfect moment" Tomoyo looked at their laughing forms, "Fine just laugh **humph** like I care………"

Eriol hugged Tomoyo around the waist, "Don't worry about it, they're just trying to make us forget about their…" Eriol's eyes flashed, the sunlight glinting off his glasses, his lips smirking, "_forbidden passion_"

Sakura hiccupped and ceased her laughter.

Syaoran smile disappeared abruptly.

Tomoyo seemed satisfied, "Now who's laughing?"

"So you guys are officially an item yet?"

Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other. Syaoran looked at Sakura questioningly. Sakura turned a pretty pink and nodded for only him to see.

He smiled in his mind and answered for her knowing she was being put in the spotlight, "Yep, we are."

Tomoyo squealed running to Sakura and Eriol smirk broke into a grin, giving Syaoran a high five.

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**Memory End

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**

**A/N:**

This is going to be a short story and it's mostly all in Syaoran's POV in present time while the memories are in normal POV!

Newayz, Isn't this a lovely beginning to a tragic story? I think so………do you?

Like no like, it's all up to you! R&R ppl!


	2. Drinking All Your Sorrows Away

**A.N: **You'll soon see what's happening. LOL!

**Thanks a lot to:**

**Seig1308, Yingfa-lilWolf-lover, anjuliet, inu-death-demon, anonymous, o0sakurachan0o, Youkai Yume**

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**Through Drunken Eyes**

**by: maixwolfblossom**

**--Chappie Two—**

_**--Drinking Your Sorrows Away—**_

**Disclaimer:** I now own CCS…CCS…CCS…CCS…wakes up Aww crud! It was a friggin' dream!

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**Syaoran's POV**

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I know, I know we got together under the weirdest circumstances.

By that time next spring, she was seventeen and I was eighteen, our relationship grew from like to love.

I still remember reading one of her diary entries that I came across when I found her journal in my apartment.

It was her confession of her love for me. How scared she was to admit it, since I hadn't said anything. I still remember it well to this time…it's something that I had clung onto.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today is nothing of the unusual, at least if you count Chiharu actually giving up on the bashing with Takashi's head for telling lies? Actually there is one thing I have for so long wondered and I think I am... I think I've fallen in love with Syaoran. He's sweet, kind, intelligent (yeah I still can't believe he likes math! shudder) caring, not to mention handsome. But most of all I love him for what he's done to keep me safe. It's so all of a sudden. My world crashed around me as I realized it in front of him when he gave me that white rose on our date that evening…I still have it pressed somewhere in my books and in my heart. But all I could do for now is to say it in this precious book: I LOVE YOU, LI SYAORAN! **–sigh-** he'll never say those words back to me…never._

_-Sakura_

Yes, it was then I realized I've been holding in what I really felt for Sakura. I loved her and she was the first person I wanted to say those three little words to and possibly forever. But that dream may never be…

At the time, I started to drink and go to many parties. Sakura, on the other hand, stayed the good girl I knew and loved. She was the one who would drive me home if I was too drunk and she would never sip a drop of liquor while we were at a party.

Sakura was a sensible woman and it was that which made me love her more, but I guess I got to a point where I just couldn't stop consuming the intoxicating liquor that burned through my soul.

The plans of making me the heir to the Li millions sort of got to my head and the stress of what my family had been putting me through added to my pain, but she was always there while I washed away my sorrows into a bottle of liquor.

I'm not saying she just let me drown in my depressed state. Sakura tried to stop me…she really tried. I just couldn't see the light of it all. Sometimes she would get to me and other times I'd just ignore and start drinking. To what it would result to, I deeply regretted it.

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**Memory**

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Sakura watched wearily as Syaoran grabbed a bottle of Vodka and took a shot glass out of the bar with him. Today he had found out that his father had died with a heart attack and he blamed himself.

"Syaoran-kun, don't do this. Your father wouldn't want you to drink. He wants his son to remember him, not ruin his life."

Syaoran coldly glared at Sakura and she felt a flinch involuntarily leave her body.

"Don't you start giving me a sermon, Sakura. If I hadn't given him a hard time and at least succeed the things he wanted me to, he would still be here. Taking care of all the business was all he wanted me to do and I didn't even bother to help him one bit."

He sat on his green couch as he stared at the vodka bottle, watching the light reflect off the only comfort he had besides Sakura, who was getting on his nerves for a very strange reason.

"You don't know how it feels to have someone you loved in your life die. You don't know the pain I've suffered."

Sakura's face fell. She knew the pain he was suffering. How would she not know? She too lost someone she loved dearly even though she hardly knew her. That person, of course, was her mother.

Tears slowly welled up to her beautiful eyes, remembering the countless days she sorely wished to have both parents to soothe her problems away, to hold her when she was down, to kiss away her tears, to talk to her when she was in pain.

"Syaoran, I know what you suffer. Remember, my mother died when I was very young."

A spark of guilt poured into Syaoran's already dark heart. He had forgotten that Sakura never grew up with two parents like he had.

He watched Sakura's teary-eyed face burn in sadness before putting down his shot glass and drawing her into his comforting arms.

"I'm sorry Sakura, I forgot," and he thought silently, 'I love her, so why should I put her through any more trouble tonight…'

Syaoran glance turned from the bottle of liquor to Sakura.

"Let's get out of here and reminisce my-- our parents." Sakura closed her eyes and said of what he thought was a silent prayer of thanks and smiled. She hugged Syaoran and tugged him off the sofa. She'd do anything for him to stop going into his depression trips and what better way of doing that is to go out and have fun?

Though she felt secure that Syaoran was not going to ruin his morning with a hangover, she couldn't help but make him pledge that he wasn't going to do anything that would ruin his life.

"Syaoran, I love you…you know that right?"

His no longer cold eyes twinkled as he smiled warmly and kissed her gently, "I know you do…and I love you."

A grin appeared on her lips and she touched his cheek lightly.

"Promise me, you won't do anything stupid if I'm not around?"

Syaoran looked at her in total confusion when she lifted her pinky in front of them.

Sakura gave a determined look, "I'm serious."

He laughed and gave her a kiss on the forehead as he took her pinky in his.

"I promise."

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**END**

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That night was one of the times she talked me out of drinking. It sort of saved my shattered soul just to remember our parents. So I went on for weeks, drowning myself with the taste of invigorating liquid in private and hiding it while I was with Sakura. She soon began to think I've stopped and she was back to the old genki (energetic) girl I've once known.

I did feel guilt when she would ask me if I was holding up well and if I was getting through a day without any problem. I would answer casually, hoping that I would escape my lies away from her, trying to not shame her for believing that I could change.

But little did she knew when she goes home to the apartment where she lived in with Tomoyo, I went straight back home and drank in mourning for I didn't think I could live without one drop of that sweet tortured liquid that raged my problems away.

In other words, I kept an empty promise. A promise I should've kept. A promise that I chose to ignore and beaten myself a million times for overlooking it. A promise that _I_ broke and it hurt the person I most cherished in this cursed world.

Drinking that many times in one night does take a toll on me and sometimes Sakura became suspicious of what I was doing since I was always late for dates, appointments, and birthday parties. Sometimes I didn't even remember making plans with her but I always made an excuse for them. I couldn't bring myself to tell her of my shame. Maybe at the time, I didn't think I _was_ hurting Sakura.

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**Memory**

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She was pacing around the sidewalk, waiting patiently for Syaoran. He was half an hour late for their date and it was getting colder and darker. She shivered as cars past by her, the chill setting onto her already frozen skin. She looked around, her emerald orbs started to show a tinge of worry about the whereabouts of Syaoran.

Then they brightened up as she saw her one and only love emerge from the other side of the street. She ran into his arms as his warm smile penetrated her worries.

"Syaoran! You're okay! I was getting so concerned. I thought you weren't going to make it here."

Syaoran chuckled, "I overslept again. I guess I should stop watching late night television, ne?"

Sakura frowned and then hugged him tightly giggling a bit, "Hai (yeah), you should. Then we wouldn't be late for every reservation that we make!"

The unusual darkness of the evening surrounded them as they walked hand in hand to their destination. Syaoran smiled at Sakura's angelic features. How she tried so hard to make his life better and she has…with the help of his little comfort sitting at home.

(A/N: Uh oh that can't be good.)

He hadn't really overslept. He had a horrible hangover that morning and couldn't get up for the whole day. He didn't know what had happened, it came to a point where alcohol was the answer. His only comfort in the night even if he paid the price in the morning he'll always have a 'friend' to turn to.

Sakura mumbled, "Oh, Xiao Lang, I'm so happy that you've gotten over your horrible drinking habits…"

But those words went straight through his mind and out the other ear. He was still thinking of getting home, running back to that liquor cabinet to soak into the taste of his own world instead of living in the present.

He absently kissed Sakura's temple and murmured a 'uh huh'.

Not even Sakura could get into his now addicted mind off to where his it had floated off.

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**MEMORY END**

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Wished, I'd listen to Sakura that day maybe it would've saved our relationship? I don't know and now I can't ask for forgiveness…_I don't know where she is_!

I want to bring her back, tell her that she'll always be inside my heart. She'll always claim a place in _my heart_.

I wish I could tell her she taught me true love, she taught me the pains, and the way of getting through them…wherever she is…

I know its wishful thinking that she'll run back into my arms like she once did.

My heart bleeds thinking of the way she left me…she left me and took my heart. I died seeing her leave my world. Some days I wanted to go and find her and I cry out in my dreams at times to take me to her…take me _with _her.

Because now I realized…

…I_ needed_ her…

**(")(") (") (") ("\/") (")(") (") (") ("\/") (")(") (") (") ("\/") (")(") (") (") **

A/N: Hummm… …iono but this is all I got… But for now…REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I'm not kidding…I need inspiration and as Youkai Yume kindly pointed out! I'm a REVIEW WHORE! Just like HER! Got'cha there Yume!… heheheh See ya!

- maixwolfblossom


	3. It's Not What it Seems

**A/N:** It's very fluff limited. But it's worth reading I swear just bear with me here! The more reviews the more I write. . OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

Thnx to those who did review:

**Anonymous T, YingFa-lilWolf-Lover, Fluffylittledragon, anjuliet, Ying Hua Li, Umi , Elisabeth, Seig1308, o0sakurachan0o, kimmi3, sweet-captor, elisabethsheedy**

**Through Drunken Eyes**

**by: maixwolfblossom**

**--Chappie Three—**

**--It's Not What It Seems—**

Yes…I needed her…

But as soon as I rea­lize this…

I'm too late.

I still see the pain that left her eyes when she said her last words to me.

It's a dream that never goes away.

In her memory, I have done my purpose to give up the thing that ruined her and our relationship, one day, when I meet with her again, she'll forgive me…hopefully…

Sometimes I look up to the sky and I ask for forgiveness everyday, hoping that she'll hear me coincidently and answer me back.

Sakura…

A name that brings me to my knees, a voice that whispers itself in my dreams, a delicate petal that floats to my heart.

…_Sakura_…

Boy, does one year change everything through the course of time.

Our relationship was a short period of time, but those three years together was the best of my life and I wish it had lasted longer. Maybe she'd still be enjoying her life here.

It all started with the drinking when I turned eighteen. Why did I have to go and ruin her perfectly laid out life?

Why hadn't she read the signs that pointed out that I was a violent bastard?

**Memory**

Sakura bumped into a mysterious blue-haired stranger, hardly recognizing him.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Sakura blushed, embarrassed.

He took one glance at he and smiled, "It's okay Sakura-san."

She looked up surprised and tilted her head slightly, "Hoe? Do I know you?"

He laughed briefly, before answering, "I'm surprised that you don't recognize me, Kinomoto-san. It's me, Yamasaki Takashi, the guy that moved away from Seijou High last year? You're old friend from elementary?"

Sakura's eyes widened, Yamazaki changed a lot in a year. His pale skin was unusually tanner and his navy blue hair was a shade darker.

Syaoran shifted his glance from the bar to where Sakura was. He already had two bottles of hard liquor in his system. He suddenly tensed seeing Sakura's eyes widen in pleasure before the man she was talking to.

Somewhere in his consciousness he knew Sakura was loyal and wouldn't try anything that would ruin their relationship, but at the same time his common sense faded with every minute.

She's just being polite.

_But I don't trust that guy…_

_Trust Sakura, she's a smart girl…_

_Yeah right, look at the way her eyes are twinkling in admiration…_

_The gleam of interest in her eyes_

_That guy is interested!_

His mind reeled losing control, his thoughts trailed wildly at the threat of the man that was speaking to Sakura. Anger boiled through Syaoran's veins as he watched the man laugh at Sakura's reaction.

"Y-y-Yamazaki-kun? Omg! You've changed a lot!"

Yamazaki chuckled lightly and smiled.

"SO, how's Li-kun? I haven't heard from him for ages! I heard he got accepted to the University of Hong Kong and you too?"

Sakura nodded her head, "yeah, I don't think I could be away from him for too long."

Takashi smirked, "Same with Chi and me."

As Syaoran's amber eyes burned through the unaware duo, his heart clenched at what he thought was Sakura's act of flirting.

In his fury, he got up and angrily made his way to the two.

Sakura smiled knowingly, "I guess we've got it bad for the ones we love, ne?"

"Hai (yeah)."

The bright, colorful lights reflected against their skin as they watched the people dance. Suddenly Sakura saw Chiharu coming from behind Takashi and beamed at her.

Sakura giggled lightly knowing what was going to happen next.

"Chiharu's here to snag you away, Takashi-kun. Oyasumi! (Good Night)"

Sakura stepped forward and gave Takashi a brief hug before letting him go and whispered to Chiharu as she hugged her too.

"Take care of him…he's a special one, this one. Yamasaki-kun really cares for you."

As she pulled away a bright smile splayed its way to Chiharu's lips, "I will."

With that last remark, Sakura turned to find herself face-to-face Syaoran's flaming amber eyes.

"Oh, hi Syao-kun!"

Syaoran's eyes showed no indifference. Slowly, Sakura's smiled faded seeing something strange flicker in his diluted eyes. First it was jealousy, then anger. Hoping she was just imagining it, she uncertainly took his hand in hers feeling him flinch in her touch.

"Umm…do you want to go home?"

Syaoran let go of her hand harshly and shouted at her.

"Don't you go and think everything's all right! I saw you with that-that guy!"

Sakura pointed a thumb over her shoulder with her brow raised, "You mean T--"

"Yes I mean that GUY!"

Takashi shifted uncomfortably under Syaoran raging orbs of fire. He could feel the heat burn his body. He also had a feeling that Syaoran was drunk.

"Now, see here Li. I wasn't trying to pull anything on Sakura-chan. Don't you remember me? It's Takash--"

With every look from the guy to Sakura and back, his temper rose. How dare this man flirt with _his_ Sakura! His anger wouldn't cease. Deep inside he knew he must stop, but this time the anger was stronger.

"Listen, you! I don't know how the hell you knew my name and who are. Just leave _my_ girl alone! You got it!"

Everyone on the dance floor stopped what they were doing and watched the argument between the two men.

Syaoran broke away from Sakura's grip and pinned Takashi against the wall.

"You listen and listen well. LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE!"

Takashi choked under the pressure of Syaoran's grasp, his head turning into a dark shade of red.

"Come on, Syao, he wasn't doing anything! It's Takashi-kun! Remember? Yamazaki Takashi! The guy who told us lies in the fourth grade about chocolate!"

Sakura tugged Syaoran away from Takashi afraid that he would kill their childhood friend. She didn't want any trouble tonight since it was their 2-year anniversary. Somehow Sakura's words trailed their way into his mind.

Realizing what a fool he looked like at the moment, Syaoran put Takashi down while Takashi rubbed his neck soothingly.

Sakura shook her head in sadness. Syaoran's common sense returned little by little as he slightly turned to Yamazaki and apologized half-heartedly for Sakura's sake.

Takashi grimly smiled and shook Syaoran's hand. Chiharu was in complete disarray with pity for Sakura.

She frowned as she turned to Syaoran as she hugged Takashi, her head lying on his chest.

"Syaoran, take care of Sakura…you don't want to end up lonely without her."

With that she dragged Takashi out of the club. The silence was still engulfed in the club Sakura shivered in nervousness from Syaoran's actions. It was a first time she had seen him act possessive and aggressive towards people, but she knew why.

"I thought you stopped drinking Syaoran…"

A silence followed her statement. Syaoran hadn't bothered to deny it.

A sad smile made its way to her face. Tears threatened to fall, but she held them back. She loved him and eventually…she'd forgive him.

"I need time alone…I'll see you later Li…take the cab, I'll take the car."

Syaoran watched helplessly at Sakura as she brushed past him leaving the club.

A few emotions seemed to penetrate his deluded mind; a sparse hint of guilt, lost pride, but a strong point came to mind. He held a hint of remorse and anger for not believing in Sakura as it made its way into his jumbled brain.

A mumble of a lie left his lips as the last of her glimmering auburn hair disappeared.

"It's not what it seems…"

**End**

Why she didn't break up with me then is still a mystery.

How can she love this cold-hearted beast?

Can she not see that I was a burden to her, to bring her humiliation when I did a dumb act of selfishness?

I wish I'd never met her, maybe then she would've been a happier person.

I just wanted to let her know that she was the best thing that happened to me and I hoped she didn't regret being with me cause I know I didn't.

Because…

She'll always be the air that feeds the fire within my hungry soul.

The soul that filled my own.

The motivator that strengthened me to face reality.

Heaven's angel…

…My angel…

…_Sakura…_

(")(") (") (") (") (") (")(") (")(") (") (") (") (") (")(") (")(") (") (") (") (") (")(")

A/N: Another short chappie! Well maybe because this story is boring you guys already. Fluff is very limited here…so all you can do is hope and pray that I get inspired to write fluff for this fic! Okay? Okay! R&R!


	4. Second Chance

**A/N:** After this chapter…there will be EXTREME DRAMA! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA! FINALLY I'll get to the melodramatic events! But at the same time it will be angst but mostly drama. Fluff will come and go…and there might be a sequel tho I think this would be better off with just an epilogue…hmm?

**10Q 2:**

**Sailor Tyffani, Seig1308, elisabeth , Anonymous T, o0sakurachan0o, babybluestarangel, forestfairy, Umi , syaoran-s2-sakura04**

* * *

**Through Drunken Eyes**

**by: maixwolfblossom**

**-Chappie Four—**

**--A Second Chance--**

**DISCLAIMER: **If someone said they owned CCS…would you believe them? I think not…! HEHEHEHEH CCS and all their rights belong to CLAMP!

* * *

Why should I care?

I should be strong and live my life… but I can't.

Inside I am weak; a weakness that I long to break.

Li Syaoran, the number one bachelor in all of China and Japan, the most wanted man…Doesn't deserve to be sought after by _any_ woman.

Sometimes I laugh coldly about being the most wanted bachelor. It's a joke. Who ever said that these amber eyes and years of training to be the head of the Li Clan were going to make me a worshiped idol?

I surely don't want that.

When I remember the happy times, I remember them well like it was yesterday.

The day she gave me a second chance to prove that I loved her more than anything. Oh how I wish I made it right then.

* * *

**Memory

* * *

**

For me, two minutes was late and I was surprised that Sakura decided to go out with me after that humiliating scene in the bar.

I missed her and I needed to be comforted. I felt vulnerable being by myself. I was alone waiting for her as I fiddled my fingers. I looked up once or twice in nervousness through the crowded streets but not a familiar face was seen.

Cold sweat broke out of my abnormally heated back. It was probably because I have been without liquor for three days. I felt my body involuntarily tremble and it vibrated out to the open world. It seemed like eternity as I stood there in the cruel winter evening.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep shaky breath and relaxed myself. I wanted to take Sakura here by myself but she refused.

At the time I was confused of why she didn't want me to come for her.

I now know of that reason.

And though it breaks my heart to admit it, she was scared that I would endanger her life and she had every right to believe it true.

* * *

**Normal POV

* * *

**

As if on cue, Tomoyo's car pulled up to the front of the restaurant that Syaoran was in front of.

He waved uncertainly at Tomoyo but a mutinous glare emerged from her already scrunched up face.

Before Sakura could get out of the car, Tomoyo stepped out of her vehicle and walked up to Syaoran, poking her finger into his chest with every word she spoke.

"If-I-ever-hear-that-you-endanger-Sakura-chan-again…you're-going-to-get-it-Li! I-don't-care-if-you-are-my-childhood-friend! If you hurt Saku, you hurt yourself! Got it!"

With that, Tomoyo returned to her car and glared at Syaoran through the window, mouthing, 'I'm going to hunt you down and I mean literally!' before she went to park her car in the restaurant parking lot.

Sakura stood at her spot before Syaoran noticed how quiet it was.

Usually she would be cheerful and full of life but tonight was different as was every night they spent in each other's lives since Syaoran's father died. She was angry. Angry for what he did not give up for her.

He felt his heart break seeing her infuriated with him. He couldn't bear it. So he inwardly sighed and decided to step aside to give an explanation...to maybe give her that chance to let him go.

"Sakura-rin…gomen nasai (I'm very sorry) If you don't want to be with me I'll—I'll see you later or if you think this relationship is not working out for you...I understand if you--"

He didn't think he deserve to explain himself as he walked away not finishing his sentence.

He missed his father so much.

The Li Corporation was enforcing him into longer hours, so maybe it was better like this since he wouldn't be able to see her for a long while.

"You lied to me…"

Syaoran glanced at her though his head was bowed down. _So she knew…_

He remembered waking up that morning, thinking that all the events that happened the previous nights was only a dream, a nightmare he wish he had taken back. Most of the things that happened came to him as a blur.

At those times he felt unhappy though relaxed immersing himself in liquid satisfaction until he forgot all his problems until he came back to the world of reality. It was the 'after' part that was the price he paid the next morning about his forgetful night and the many very angry people…people he loved.

Syaoran answered this time, his voice trembling from fear.

He really loved Sakura. It's just that these days he'd forgotten things lately and with his late nights and all. He denied to himself that his drinking was the problem, but to him it was a solution.

"Ying Fa. I can't deny I didn't stop myself from breaking a promise. But if you were there to stop me--"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Li! I only left for three minutes and you already got through, what? Five bottles?"

Syaoran narrowed his eyes dangerously, "No, for your information I had _three_ bottles."

"Three, five. Same thing! All the Manhattan's and what ever other liquors you mixed up were enough to make you do violence! And what hurt me more was that you did this on our night out! I thought for our anniversary, you would treat me right. But I was wrong. You brought me to a god forsaken bar and embarrassed me in front of people we know!"

Sakura shivered not from the cold, but from her anger. He looked deep within her emerald eyes and saw what he was afraid to see. A lost expression made its way to his amber eyes, lighting his features into a boyish air of innocence.

It was startling to see what he found in her eyes.

…it was _fear_…

Fear of him, and that terrified Syaoran.

Was he that big of a jerk?

"Sakura…I--"

He gazed down at her face once again and saw her orbs of light fill with unshed tears. He reached out, but she moved away in panic. He tried again and this time he caught her into his arms, where she struggled to free herself from his embrace, the tears already spilling.

"Can't you understand? Li, I'm afraid of you. I can't be with you if you're going to hurt me. Please let go of me."

Her face rained drops of tears falling mercilessly like streams of water plunging into a never-ending puddle.

She felt her strength leave her, her knees grew weak as she racked with uncontrollable sobs, but he held on.

People started to stare at the sobbing Sakura but she paid no attention. She was in pain and the only way to let it out was to let her emotions free. He frantically held Sakura with all his might, his shirt soaking with hot tears of anger and sadness.

But he had only one goal in mind. He wanted to make things right.

When the last of her tears dried, Syaoran traced her brow as she flinched which made him sadden with every moment seeing her try to crawl away from him in dread.

Why was it, when she cried…it seemed it was always because of him?

He brought her sadness instead of joy.

He brought her many burdens instead of unloading them unto himself.

As he held her to him, seeking for an answer, he whispered, "Do you really hate me that much?"

Sakura shook her head. Her voice cracked slightly, "Iie (No)! I just…don't like seeing you hurt yourself anymore. I feel like our love is waning…"

For a while she didn't continue, it was almost as if she was choosing her words carefully, "I don't know how long we could survive as a couple, Syaoran-kun. When I think about our relationship I feel cold but at the same time I don't want to leave you."

"Are…Are you telling me that you feel like we are nothing but friends?" Anxiety bubbled within.

Sakura closed her eyes as if in pain and took a deep breath before opening them up again.

"I think we need to spend time away from each other." Sakura shifted her focus to something other than Syaoran. "It's just…I don't think I could stop your problems. I'm not strong enough to help you…as much as you need the help, it seems I can't provide what you long for."

Syaoran opened his mouth in protest, "Bu--"

She held up a hand, "What I'm trying to say is…" Sakura looked him in the eye, her bottom lip trembling with every word, "I don't think I'm good enough for you."

Her eyelids partially closed and a tear slipped through them.

Syaoran became confused. He didn't know why she said she wasn't 'good enough for him. But he did what he could to bring her comfort.

"Sakura, I may have been a bastard to you and for that I am sorry. But you're wrong in some way. You _are _good enough for me. It is _I_ that shouldn't be worthy of you. I am weak without you because _I need you._ You're my Sakura. My Li Ying Fa."

A few women, who passed by, heard his response and became starry-eyed and clapped their hands.

Ignoring the strange looks from the crowds on the busy streets, Sakura gasped for she knew he was hinting to make her his wife. She looked up into his amber, in disbelief. Four years of dating, Ten years of being friends…it had always been her fantasy to be with him forever but something was holding her back.

Syaoran's worries resurfaced seeing her face darken.

"Xiao Lang…I don't know…"

The crowds on the streets blurred, tears streamed down Sakura's cheeks.

In her heart she knew Syaoran had to change for her sake. If they wanted a family, Syaoran had to make time for her. If they had children, he had to stop working long hours. If she wanted a husband, she wanted him to be acquainted with her children as her father was and still is. She wanted a whole family not a broken one. Mostly, she wanted Syaoran to stop drowning his sorrows with alcohol. If he couldn't, she would never marry him.

"Sakura please…I'll do anything for you to stop crying…please tell me what I should do. I want you to be with me forever, I want you to be the one for me…I want you to be the mother of my children. Sakura…I love you so damn much…"

He wiped away a stray tear, "I want to know what makes you cry, so that I can be the one that always makes you smile, Sakura."

She sniffed shakily and gave an unbelievable smile, "You're so cheesy and…" her smile faded slightly, "…and Syaoran I want you to stop ruining your life…You can't keep forgetting things, you can't lie to me, you can't screw up your life with a friggin' bottle every single night."

"I don't have a bottle every singl--"

Sakura sharply interrupted, "Don't contradict me!"

In frustration, Sakura grabbed a fistful of her hair and shook her head.

"…This is what I meant…you don't know what you're talking about and it hurts me to say this Syaoran…but…you're an _alcoholic…_"

Syaoran stared blankly at the woman he loved, his mind not processing the word she called him.

Thinking it was a kind of joke, he laughed a little.

"Sakura…that's really funny. It's just a little thing to enjoy--"

She scoffed in anger, "You call NINETEEN SHOTS OF LIQUOR ON YOUR 19th BIRTHDAY A LITTLE THING! YOU COULD'VE DIED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

Syaoran stepped back in astonishment seeing Sakura snap like that.

He had never thought his drinking was a problem to her, especially a girl that was always sweet and loving.

"You don't seem to get it through your thick skull…this is one of the reasons why I'm on the verge of breaking up with you. If you cannot embrace your problem, then…I'm sorry Li…I'll never be with you."

A sharp intake of breath exerted from Syaoran hearing his last name being used, but she dared not to look at his face, for if she did she would probably run back into his arms, risking her life again.

A burning sensation arose to the pit of her stomach, resting there. But it wasn't out of passion or yearning, it was out of fiery pain. She really didn't want to let Syaoran go but if it meant saving her life…she'd feel better knowing her life was not at stake.

The chilly evening seemed to be freezing over and Sakura shivered, still avoiding Syaoran's gaze.

His cold voice broke into her thoughts but it seemed that his spirit was bruised.

"So this is it…? It's over?"

Sakura nodded her head in confirmation, her voice monotone, "If you cannot show me you have changed...then yes…I'm afraid that our relationship is over…but…"

A flicker of hope lit up in his heart.

"But our relationship as friends will live on forever…and maybe when I feel you've changed and our hearts are still in the right place…then maybe…there will be a second chance…"

His flicker of hope died, leaving his heart frozen.

Syaoran cast a futile attempt to smile, but failed terribly.

"I understand…" He didn't mean it.

Syaoran gathered Sakura into his arms for a last embrace and looked at her features as if remembering every single detail of her. He couldn't help but feel sad about her decision but she was just protecting herself.

Her eyes flickered with pain and misted over with tears that she wiped away dismissively. Syaoran couldn't help it. It was in the spur of the moment when he swooped down for a kiss.

It was short and chaste but it was enough to bring his heart to his stomach.

And with one last look at her, he left with a broken heart and shattered pride.

* * *

**END

* * *

**

My only chance to give up anything for the one I loved was demolished.

In someway, I think I should have left it at that and bid Sakura goodbye for good.

Back then, I was just thinking of myself.

Sure I love my Li Ying Fa and I did get my second chance.

But before I get a little ahead of the story, this was the end of our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And yet I feel my heart leap to my throat I wish she shun me away from her.

How can I say 'wish' when I think of myself not worthy of such things?

All I knew was a new restart of friendship was to begin, but that was just the beginning of my lost.

A/N: I know this was a very weird chapter…but you'll see how it ends up! . Let's just hope it's a _happy ending…_Muahahahaha Muahahaha Muahahahhaha static

**Sakura:** ahem Excuse the crazy authoress…skool has finally come to a shock to her. The 'B' in her latest Geometry chapter test was a shock I tell you! A SHOCK! Poor maixwolfblossom, she's been receiving 'F' for the past two months and yeah she expected another one and guess what! The pathetic girl actually passed that test! Stress I tell you…

**Syaoran:** You could say that again…

**Sakura:** Stress I tell you…

**Syaoran:** (strained voice) You could say that again…

**Sakura:** Stress I tell--

**Syaoran:** WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY! IT'S JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH!

**Sakura:** -**blinks- **HOOEEEEEEE!


End file.
